Office romances aren't unprofessional - they're a joy (2025)

Gen Z are usually viewed as being fairly open-minded and liberal in their attitudes. But it turns out that there’s one area where they’re more conservative than their older work colleagues: office romances.

New research of more than 2,000 adults, by dating app Happn, suggests that only half of them think it’s socially acceptable to meet a partner at work, compared with 63 per cent of Boomers and 64 per cent of Gen X. The main reason that Gen Z has listed for not pursuing romance in the office? It is “distracting” and “decreases productivity”.

I’m not a massive fan of any kind of “generation bashing”, and in fact, I love to learn from different generations, especially when I’m at work. But I find the idea that office romances are to be avoided because they stop us from doing more work slightly, well, depressing. Feeling awkward about dating someone at work or snogging your colleague at the pub is one thing. But avoiding romance at work so you can free up more time for labour sounds very joyless to me.

I can’t imagine living in a world with no office romances. I know of at least three married or cohabiting couples that wouldn’t exist. One of those couples went on to set up their own business so they could spend more time together.

To be clear, when I talk about romantic relationships in the office, I’m talking about two mutually consenting adults rather than bosses who are pressuring their younger colleagues into sleeping with them to get a promotion. Or inappropriate fondling from a drunk executive at the Christmas party; both things I’ve seen happen and which are clearly not okay.

But with so many of us spending such inordinate amounts of time at work, how else are we meant to meet romantic partners? After all, if you work in a particular industry, then the likelihood is that you have certain interests in common and a similar lifestyle. This might be challenging if you are both doctors, for example (the long hours might mean you rarely see one another outside of work), but work colleagues often become friends, so why wouldn’t they become lovers too?

Meanwhile, there are many signs that Gen Z is giving up dating apps. Last year, Ofcom said the UK’s top four dating apps had seen a dip in use since 2023, with Tinder losing 600,000 users, Hinge shedding 131,000, Bumble declining by 368,000, and Grindr falling by 11,000. This was because the younger generation apparently preferred real-life interactions.

If you are not using apps or meeting people at work then forming romantic relationships can be tricky. Do you meet them at Tesco Local when you’re tired and buying groceries? Or on the bus home when you’re listening to a podcast and don’t want to talk to anyone?

I am definitely no expert on dating, but I do know that you need to kiss a few toads in order to find that prince/princess. Work colleagues might turn out to be just one of those “practice toads” – helping you learn more about the qualities you want in a partner.

Personally, I haven’t had a romantic relationship with anyone at work (apart from a couple of drunken flirtations). But if I met someone I liked at work and was single then I don’t see any reason why I wouldn’t pursue it.

Another reason Gen Z listed why they wouldn’t pursue a romantic relationship at work was that they were concerned with the “reputational damage it could cause to their career”, which also seems unlikely. Sure, if you are going to kiss in front of one another in a board meeting, then that’s going to impact your reputation. This isn’t usually what happens, however.

I remember one couple who had both joined the market research agency I worked in at the same time. I was taken aback when someone told me they were dating, as I never saw any signs of flirtation between them. More recently, I worked for a company where two of the senior members of the team were married. They called into Zoom meetings from separate rooms, and you wouldn’t have been able to tell that they were living together. If a relationship develops, there are ways to keep things professional that mean it won’t affect the way people see you at all.

There can of course be some fallout if things go wrong. I can imagine that things feel difficult, especially if you have to work with your ex day to day. In market research it used to be common to have to travel together on projects, get early-morning flights and stay in hotels, and this could feel incredibly awkward if you were having to do this with someone you were once in love with.

But to shut down office romances altogether is to close down the possibility of things going really right. About 10 years ago, I attended a lavish wedding of two work colleagues at a posh hotel in Dorset. The sun shone all day. The drinks flowed. In the evening, the dancing kicked off in earnest, and I saw two colleagues chatting with one another next to the bar. Later, when I was leaving, they sat outside, sharing a cigarette and staring out to sea. It was the start of yet another love story. I heard a couple of months ago that they’re expecting their first baby. Maybe Gen Z shouldn’t be too quick to call time on the office romance.